The greatest mistake you can make in life is continually fearing that you'll make one.

Okay. Lately I have my worst times. A level of stress is getting way above the average. I know that it's no good, but then what should I do. I made a few mistakes, which will cost me a lot and I'm quite sensitive before my departure to China. I got a ticket already, but then Chinese AIESEC is all closed, because of the official holidays in China, from 22nd to 28th of January they celebrate Chinese New Year, so I don't have any news from them. I don't want to hear that I cannot go there after all, or that I was disqualified or something. I have to go this time. But how is it that Chinese people are sooo slow. Okay, I know, Poles are even more beaurocratic and annoying and slow too probably, but now, it's very important to me. Sometimes this part of me awakens, when I become an organized person. I need to take care of everything to prepare properly to my CA.

Plus, today, I totally quarelled with the new manager at work. He came here and started picking on every mistake that I made. Of course, I make mistakes a lot and I'm aware of it. And it's his job to tell me to change it. But his way of saying it pissed me off.
Manager: How many times should I tell you to blablabla
Pam: I'm sorry. I forgot. I will remember about it this time.
Manager: I'm telling you every time... You should do this this that blabla
Pam: I think you're better than me at this job, so if you could come here for a few hours and work, I will watch how you do things and learn.
Manager: That's the issue of competence, I'm here to show you your mistakes. I was learning techniques of sales...
Pam: That's right, competence...

Well, basicly the manager is new at our company. He never worked on my position, nor can he operate all those sales systems we have here. He never wore contact lenses and he smells of cigarettes. He talks like he never studied and uses dirty words. He thinks he's cool, but I just cannot digest his sense of humour.
After our conversation and a few words that I said later too, he was practically running away from me.... ^^;

Phew... I feel so much better, having it all written here ^^)v
I hope he won't find out about this blog. Well, even if he did, he wouldn't understand English. Oops.... I forgot about Google Translate haha.

Days left to CA: 59

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us.

My friend from Japan said he sent me a small gift. I was happy to hear that and I was waiting for it. I even checked mail box yesterday and today too. And finally today I took out a small package from the mailbox. I saw Japanese characters on it and I smiled brightly. Yay! Finally here!
And then, how surprised I was to see it's not the package I was waiting for. But, here another pleasant surprise. Another friend, who I actually never personally met, sent me a small gift for the New Year's. This friend is a Japanese women of Korean descent, who lives in Japan as a Japanese person. As I was writing about Korean community in Japan for my graduation thesis, I wrote to her to ask for some help. She kindly replied and told me a lot of interesting things, which I'm always very thankful for. As she was travelling to Polan, we were to meet in Warsaw, but because of my graduation thesis (sic!) I couldn't go. And it's a second time she's sending me a small gift. I'm very happy to receive it.

What can be more Japanese than Hello Kitty?!?!

Today, I got an email from Japan also, saying that the project I took part in will be taken on another level. As a Polish representant I was sharing my thoughts about Japanese manga for girls. We were just writing about what we like and dislike on an internet forum. Now, a book might be made out of it. Photos of the people who took part in it might be shown in the book too. I hope I made enough of a contribution to this project. It makes me excited to think that my opinions will be printed! They said we will receive this book, when it gets printed.

Days to CA: 62

And to me, seriousness is a sickness; and the sense of humor makes you more human, more humble. The sense of humor – according to me – is one of the most essential parts of religiousness.

The quote in title of this post is a fragment from Osho's book. Osho is a guy who created his own philosophy, or religion, as some might say, which is very human. I like some parts of it. Osho's book were quite popular in Poland some time ago too and you could buy them in every bookstore. Not so much now, but it's still possible to find some, translated into Polish language.

You might be curious about what's happening with my internship in China. Again, nothing. I finally got an e-mail from Chinese AIESEC just to be informed that owing to the Chinese New Year's celebrations, hotel is too busy to sign the documents for me. So ok, cool, I'll wait, is what I thought. But then, after checking everything with Mr. Google I learned that New Year's celebrations mean 15 days of different events. 15 days!!! Just how long can I wait to get one paper with one damn sign. Anyone from the hotel can sign it. Even just a stamp would do.

Having that said, on 23rd is the first day of Chinese New Year. It will be a year of Dragon. My Chinese zodiac sign is Horse. I checked my horoscope.

Horse's personality:

Occupying the 7th position on the Chinese Zodiac, the Horse symbolizes such character traits as strength, energy, and an outgoing nature. Extremely animated, Horses thrive when they’re the center of attention. Always in search of a good time, Horses keep the crowds happy with their humor and their wit.

Horses are extremely intelligent so they’re able to grasp new subjects with ease. They’re also capable of multi-tasking however they don’t always finish what they start because they’re forever chasing the next opportunity. Horses are honest, friendly and open-minded. They’re perhaps a bit too centered on themselves and have been known to throw tantrums when situations don’t go their way.

Another one is here: http://www.usbridalguide.com/special/chinesehoroscopes/Horse.htm
You can read about your sign too. It's interesting, although I don't think it matches with my personality that much. But well, I'd rather believe that those positive traits are true ^^

Well, that's it for today!
A bit too early maybe, but:

Tangerines as a symbol of good fortune :D

Days left to CA: 65

All things are difficult before they are easy.

I was imagining myself being all busy before my departure to China, getting everything prepared and stressing about everything that hasn't been done yet, but reality looks a bit different. I'm living normally, working overtime, wasting time as usual. Chinese AIESEC still ignores my e-mails asking for documents. I'm not learning Chinese as I planned. I'm not thinking about what should I pack. I'm doing nothing. Now that I think about it... what can I actually do? I got 3 months, so there's no need to rush actually.

I'm signing the contract soon. I'm still a bit of a pinch about what to do with that all. I mean, I'll sign the contract, just to resign 1,5 months later. But then, what should I do. I have no other option. I want to earn more too, before I go to China. After I sign this contract my salary will go up after all.

I don't know what should I do...


Days left to CA: 67

Continuity does not rule out fresh approaches to fresh situations.

Well, my days continue and I'm trying to spend them in a pleasant way, but of course there are things noone can predict. Like the 7th change of schedule at work. Sometimes I feel that this schedule is like an animal... It lives on its own and changes as quickly as a women's moods ^^;

But it's nothing to complain about. Soon, I'll be signing a contract at work, so for those two months before going to China I will be working for my retirement pension. That's how it works in Poland.

I think I should slowly start counting days to my Chinese adventure. Although I still haven't got any information from the company that hires me, they should send me an invitation soon. Plus, I got my ticket already. Departure: 26th of March. I'm flying with two stopovers, one in Budapest, where I'll have enough time to go and walk around and then in Beijing for just 2 hours. I got the ticket ultra cheap, so I hope they won't make any problem, because I will arrive in Xiamen on 27th and the internship starts on 31st.

Anyway!

I hope I'll be able to lessen some stress during snow fights and making snowmen. I made two tiny snowmen already. If I managed to get the photo my friend took, I'll upload it then.

It was the first day of snow. When the guy saw I'm trying to take a photo he started to run away Xp

Hey, but when it comes to snow and white color, I'm thinking of weird things... Like:

And why the hell am I thinking "Wooow it looks sooo niceee"!?!

Days left to China Adventure: 70

Always give a word or sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, or even a stranger, if in a lonely place.

Those few days were so pleasant and fun that I hardly noticed it was Friday the Thirteenth. Well, from what I heard, in some countries people consider this day the luckiest day, in contrary to Poland. But when you see beautiful snowflakes dancing around in the air, when you meet awesome people, who are so much different than you, but you have so much fun with them, when everything seems nice and cool... I would say it's what 'the luckiest day' should be.

Maybe some of you heard about Couch surfing, maybe some not. Basically it's a idea to enrich your traveling experience. And makes your travel costs lower. So, you just sign in, and when you decide to go traveling, you can ask some one from this website to host you for free. Ok. Not for free. The prize is to share your experiences and thoughts. It's not a high prize to pay, but it's so valuable when you receive it.
I cannot host people, so I set a coffee-or-drink option. Which means, I'm showing people around my city and meet with different people.

The day before yesterday, I met a Japanese guy, who was living in Russia for some time and his Russian friend who lives in Kraków and studies Polish language. It was so weird meeting them, but I had lots of fun. I felt that I want to do more more more. I want to meet people more. I want to travel more. And I want to improve myself more. Every time I'm meeting people who have many stories to tell, I gain new confidence to go forward. Although my internship matters got slower lately, because Chinese side cannot keep their promises and I still haven't received important documents for visa... But I will push forward!!!

Yes, it's a Polish BEER~!

I hope no matter where I go, I will be able to keep in touch with my friends! And I believe I will become a new person after living in a wild country like China haha~!

It was difficult for me because I was searching for the answer for so long, and the answer was right in front of me. Do what I do best.

Today I understood that I have a weird destiny with my friend. I'm not talking about love or stuff. Just somehow we meet in the most unpredictable places on Earth. Today was the same. She is going to Indonesia by the end of this month, I'll be most likely in China soon, so I guess the next place we should be meeting is like... Malaysia or Singapore ^^)v

When I was walking to the shopping mall today a guy approached me with a leaflet n his hand. I wa sin a hurry so I only slowed down a little, but didn't stop when he started talking to me. You know, usually when a guy approaches me on the streets, he's asking about money or advertising a new restaurant. It's so sad to not be popular. Why won't anyone try to ask me for my number or invite me for a coffee, dammit!!!
Anyway, he handed me the leaflet and said: "My friend is looking for a girl". I was like LOL, what is he talking about. One glance on the leaflet and I was almost crying from laughter. I read: "I'm looking for a girl I met in the tram yesterday around 4pm. She was wearing purple coat and brown boots.... It was the second time I met her, earlier it was in the train to Warsaw one year ago [talking about destiny!]. She might be the love of my life! Help me! Go to my facebook profile and check her photo and if you know her, please tell me".

Aawwwww....!

The red letters say: "I'M LOOKING FOR A GIRL OF MY LIFE!" It's just like drama scenario! I got an inspiration thanks to that guy!

My small hobby is to think of drama scenarios with my friend Ellen, so I think this leaflet will be a great inspiration! Thank you Daniel! (Apparently that's the guy's name)

Intuition is a suspension of logic due to impatience.

Ok. So I started my New Year with laziness and impatience. I had so many days off (almost a week!!!!!), so I slept in late and went to bed around 2-3am. And today, to wake up to work, was like hell! That would be it for laziness. Impatience? This Chinese AIESEC drives me crazy! Is it even working? Maybe they are already preparing to celebrate Chinese New Year, but they totally ignore all my questions! To sign one paper... it took them ages! Wait, no. It took would be a past tense, so it's not right. Becuase I still didn't get this document. How many more days am I suppossed to wait for it? Come on, one sign. Just one. Please!

As I'm back at work, I'm also back to doing practical things. That is... writing my blog haha~! And learning Chinese ^^ No, it's not a New Year's Resolution. But I was learning it on my studies for a year and guess what? I can't speak it at all! So I decided that I should know at least how to ask where is the toilet. I still have some time, so I will use all my energy to learn from time to time..........

To be honest, I don't like Chinese language. Japanese is my first and last love, and Korean is following me everywhere (I'm trying to learn it to). Chinese sounds ridiculous. All those tones and sounds makes me go nuts. I don't hear the difference, I cannot diffirentiate two similar words. But, well, noone said it would be easy. I'm going to fight it, cause it's like my enemy. I want to know all those three main Asian languages, but only Chinese is such a pain in the... neck.

But it's still not the time to get discouraged! Cheer me on, I will concur it!

Today the biggest charity event in Poland took place. Just next to my workplace there was a small stage. The bigger one was in the center of course. I could hear some bands play, but when I got off work, they were already deconstructing it T^T

The lighting was taken down too. Boo!

Well then~!

The first step towards getting somewhere is to decide that you are not going to stay where you are.

Scrap New Year's Resolutions. I'm not gonna bother with them at all! I know and you know it as well, although you might feign ignorance, no New Year's Resolution turn out well. Of course, there might be people who always keep theirs, but how few of those people actually exists! I'm not gonna do it this year.

I will make a balance of 2011 year, on the contrary. I think it was a good year.
January - I quit job in Cinema City.
February - I met a guy I like till now ^^
March - I started teaching Japanese language to one nice girl.
April - My friend got married!!!
May - Student's festival in Kraków, my hometown :)
June - I finished classes for the last year of undergraduate level studies.
July - I worked part-time in Information Center in Kraków.
August - I went to Prague.
September - I graduated with A grade for my BA thesis. I waved Ellen goodbye and sent her off to China first haha ^^)v
October - I started to work in the store here. I sat in the JLPT exam N2.
November - I signed in for AIESEC.
December - I passed a recrutation for internship in China.

Anyway, this 2011 year was full of surprises. I never expected things would turn out like it did. But I feel that the new 2012 year will be even better and I'm anticipating all that awaits me.

In this past 2011 year, I met many people, I gained many new experiences, and I decided I need to change too! Year 2012 will be very important to me!!!


Ok, I might have said, no New Year's Resolutions.... but! I need to stop bitting my nails! That's why I painted them in nice purple colour!

My ugly little fingernails....

Now, because the colour is too pretty, I'm not bitting them at all. The only problem now is.... I don't know if I can have my nails painted at work... Well, if noone tells me otherwise, I will continue with the purple ones~!




Maybe some words about New Year's Eve. I met people from high school! It's been such a long time, since I last saw them. I was so happy to see all those familiar faces! And I have to say, they all changed so much. Everyone looks so mature and pretty and hansome now. I'm ashamed. I should do something too... I have to catch up!




Well, anyway, before this post turns into a novel. I will write again. One photo from New Year's Eve party to end today's post.

Denial ;_;

Ok. Let's no deny anything this year. Year 2012 - the YES time :D