The day has come. My adventure in China ended and now I'm back home once again. I knew it was going to end. I was aware that coming back home won't be easy. But the feelings that I hold in my heart now is something that nobody can understand, if they never spend the best times of their lives somewehere far away from home.
Eight months in China gave me so much. Courage, self-confidence, friendship, dreams. It made me feel that I can do anything I want and I can reach to any goal I set for myself. It made me get my wings to fly, believe no Red Bull is needed. I started to believe in people and started to be active about who I am. I changed my ways and I like how it's changed. I managed to realise a dream that I was not able to do anything with for a loooong time, I finally went to Japan. I could face people I like and people I care about. And above all, I had time to think. Time to plan everything I want to do. And now I will not back out, because now I know that only if I say out loud my dreams, hopes and aspirations, only when me, alone, became aware that this is actually what I want to do, only then can I achieve them or at least stand closer to them.
It will be difficult. I know that. It will be hard and boring. But I have time, I will honestly face my fears and doubts. I will take it easy. Step by step, without rushing things, I will definitely reach my goal. I can plan my whole year ahead, but I'm still not too clear about the final goal. So I will take my time to see it clearly.
To be honest, when I came back home after 8 months in China and almost a month in Japan, I wanted to cry. Yes, I was happy to meet my family and enthusiastic to meet my friends. But when I was thinking about even trivial matters like, food or living conditions.... I wanted to cry. I want to eat Asian food and live alone, is what I thought at first. I want to see Asian faces, and listen to Chinese or Japanese. I want people to smaller, less open, more polite... I want to go back to Asia. But I can't forget my other dreams and can't forget my future.
It's time to think about New Yer's resolutions again and I believe that year 2013 will be the most important year of my life. Or this is what I'm gonna make it. I will make it the most life affecting year of my life. And for this I will try my best!
For coming back with the blog in such a heavy way, I'm very sorry!
