If you asked me for my New Year Resolution, it would be to find out who I am.

Here it is - year 2013. And it follows year 2012, which was full of emotions, adventures, feelings, new people, reconciling with people from the past, learning, struggling, fighting, crying, laughing...
This past year was full of everything, which can be called a part of life. I grew up a lot. I don't regret anything. I do have thoughts sometimes, what would be if I had made a different decision now and then. But I decided to look forward now. Maybe the thing that I call my dream, which I became aware of in 2012 is not actually my dream, but it became my direction for now and I don't want to loose sight of it.

Start of work that I came to love!

This year, I have one main New Year's Resolution and a few smaller to accompany it. The job that I started in China, I want to become a professional in it. That's why I want to work in Poland in the same industry for now and I want to study about it on master course too. This year should be full of only this work related things. Work & Study. Other than that I wish to go on AIESEC internship again, but this time maybe to Japan. Decision about moving the area of my studies to a different direction was very difficult for me, as I love Japanese studies and the language, which I'm gradually starting to forget unfortunately. That's why I wish to gain as much knowledge about my job as I can, so that I am able to work in Japan too one day.

Friends that I came to love!

This year, just like the year before, I will slowly but tenaciously go forward to reach my dreams!
And I wish everyone to be able to realise their New Year's Resolutions this year too!

Happy New Year!

Life is all about risks and it requires you to jump. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have or could have had. No one waits forever.

Ok. Next week on Monday I'm going to Warsaw to pick up my visa from Chinese consulate. When I already get my hand on my brand new Chinese visa, I will have only one worry left. I mean, one major worry and that is my part-time job. Of course, you must know that I decided to sign the contract, so I need to work for another 2 weeks after I officially say I'm quitting. Which is quite a pain in the neck, especially that my manager at work is hell annoying person, so I'm afraid he might make it hard for me. Plus, again, as always they messed up with my pay for February...

As for the rest of preparations... I really don't know what is left. I was creating huge list of what to pack and what to leave out, I was thinking hard for 2 months already, but following a piece of advice of my older sister, I should be moderate when it comes to stuffing my bag with useless things and clothes.

For now, apart from clothes and toiletries, this is my list:

> PC
> list of addresses of my friends
> at least one CD with my favourite music and at least one book in normal language (that is Polish/English/Japanese)
> espresso maker and at least a small package of grinded coffee
> notebook with Polish dishes' recipies
> Polish chocolate and krówki as a gift for people from AIESEC XMU
> photos of my family&friends (sob sob)
> Polish postcards and stuff to advertise my country in China ^^


And here are the things I decided to leave out and buy cheaply in China:

> towels
> slippers (I need at least one pair of Hello Kitty slipperssss)
> photo frames


Ooops... that's all I can think of for now! ^^;

I'm gonna keep the list updated!

Time left to Noodles in China: something over 2 weeks

The greatest mistake you can make in life is continually fearing that you'll make one.

Okay. Lately I have my worst times. A level of stress is getting way above the average. I know that it's no good, but then what should I do. I made a few mistakes, which will cost me a lot and I'm quite sensitive before my departure to China. I got a ticket already, but then Chinese AIESEC is all closed, because of the official holidays in China, from 22nd to 28th of January they celebrate Chinese New Year, so I don't have any news from them. I don't want to hear that I cannot go there after all, or that I was disqualified or something. I have to go this time. But how is it that Chinese people are sooo slow. Okay, I know, Poles are even more beaurocratic and annoying and slow too probably, but now, it's very important to me. Sometimes this part of me awakens, when I become an organized person. I need to take care of everything to prepare properly to my CA.

Plus, today, I totally quarelled with the new manager at work. He came here and started picking on every mistake that I made. Of course, I make mistakes a lot and I'm aware of it. And it's his job to tell me to change it. But his way of saying it pissed me off.
Manager: How many times should I tell you to blablabla
Pam: I'm sorry. I forgot. I will remember about it this time.
Manager: I'm telling you every time... You should do this this that blabla
Pam: I think you're better than me at this job, so if you could come here for a few hours and work, I will watch how you do things and learn.
Manager: That's the issue of competence, I'm here to show you your mistakes. I was learning techniques of sales...
Pam: That's right, competence...

Well, basicly the manager is new at our company. He never worked on my position, nor can he operate all those sales systems we have here. He never wore contact lenses and he smells of cigarettes. He talks like he never studied and uses dirty words. He thinks he's cool, but I just cannot digest his sense of humour.
After our conversation and a few words that I said later too, he was practically running away from me.... ^^;

Phew... I feel so much better, having it all written here ^^)v
I hope he won't find out about this blog. Well, even if he did, he wouldn't understand English. Oops.... I forgot about Google Translate haha.

Days left to CA: 59

At night, when the sky is full of stars and the sea is still you get the wonderful sensation that you are floating in space.

Phew. Stressful day. I don't know why video talk through Skype makes me nervous every time, no matter who I talk with. But this time I wasn't sure if the guy I'm talking with will understand me. Fortunately his English was even better than mine, so it was okay. I talked with a TN manager from AIESEC from China. He even let me talk with his flatmate. To my surprise the guy was saying "I want to go to Poland, I want to go to Poland". I was happy for a moment, till I heard him saying to the other guy "because the girls are pretty". And here I thought he might like Poland because of its... I don't know... culture?

The department store around 10 pm in the evening. Yeah, that's when I finish work too.

After work when I was dashing through the freezing cold night busy with my own thoughts I looked up to the sky. It looked so beautiful. I think that if only people had more time to observe sky, they would be so much happier. Because just one glance up to the sky, made all the bad and depressing thoughts vanish from my head.

I think that as long as I can see the stars, it doesn't matter where I am. Be it Japan, China, New Zeland, Australnia, Poland, Germany.... Whatever. Sky is always with me!

Day 22 of 30: COMPLETE!

Sometimes by loosing a battle you find a new way.

Early in the morning (that is around 9am) I was rushing to the AIESEC Head Quarters located in the University of Economics, even though they are not affiliated to any university in Kraków. I was going to meet my 'Buddy' - that is a person who will help me find my way in the organisation.
To reach the place of the meeting I had to go through the biggest mall in the center. On my way I found this little store there:

You can buy little gadgets here, like mobile straps and key chains! All in Japanese cutey style!

I thought the Japanese boom that started a few years ago fainted already, but no, it seems like it's still evolving. Well, for me it's a good thing!

After the meeting, which actually took around 5 minutes (and I especially woke up early!!!) I went home, as I had a Skype date with a friend. I had only a little time, cause I was going to the lecture on 4pm, but in the middle of our conversation I got a message from my friend that the lecture is cancelled. So I talked with one more friend, who was apparently drunk already and then I went to my friend's match. I mean Aś. She plays basketball for a few years now, but she played for 30 secs in todays match. I think that's the reason why they lost. Anyway, me and Kate, who also came to the match, we got inspired to train basketball! I hope we will find some time for it, cause you know, I'm serious! I have my height alright, I just need to learn how to play now ^^;

Day ended with a cup of hot wine drank on the street and a beautiful starry sky when I was walking home.

Day 9 of 30: COMPLETE!

P.S. I hope my best friend, Ellen, who's now working in China, reads it someday and smile! Because I think she might be having some hard times there as well! Keep your fingers crossed for my friend!